I’ve always wanted to visit China.  I mean, after seeing Japan and Korea first…but, an opportunity came and I jumped.  Man, what a cool country.

Outside of censorship, pollution, and having to relieve myself in the squatting position; China is one of the best places I’ve ever been.  It is modern, efficient, yet still delightfully chaotic, and manages to retain a delicate and ancient beauty at its core.  The people were so kind too.  In the beginning it felt like I was doing everything wrong.   I made several cringeworthy mistakes with chopsticks, and peed on the floor of public restrooms…every single time… but nobody gave me a hard look.  Nobody even laughed.  All that was aimed my way were indulgent smiles and encouragement.  For three weeks I was treated like a giant and beloved toddler.  I’m confident I could have fallen asleep anywhere, and woken covered in a soft blanket with bottle of apple juice by my side.

And the food!  It was great across the board.  The best meals were, of course, ordered by local friends who knew what the hell was going on.  Being unsure about the menu is an easy way to end up with a roasted sparrow, gelatinous goo, and a pile of fish fins.  I thought I’d be able to get past my Western squeamishness and eat insects on sticks and chopped bullfrogs, but I could not.  I’m now well aware of my culinary comfort zones, and have come to the realisation that I’m kind of a pussy.  I did, however, learn that fried shrimp heads are delicious, and that I can nibble on a chicken foot in a setting where I feel safe, secure, and there are no other food options.

Cantonese Pork Custard

This is really delicious.  And there are no small bones or fins in it…unless you’ve done something awfully wrong.

Pork Mix

• 1 TBS fat of your choice, I use coconut oil
• 1/2 lb/250 grams ground pork
• 1 shallot minced
• 4-5 shitake mushrooms, chopped
• 4-5 asparagus spears thinly sliced
• 4 tsp coconut aminos
• 2tsp fish sauce
• ground black pepper

1. Cook the ground pork and shallot until cooked through and slightly browned.
2. Add the mushroom and asparagus and cook for a minute or two.
3. Mix the coconut aminos, fish sauce, and black pepper into the pork mixture and place  in a shallow bowl.

Custard

• three eggs
• 3/4 cup water
• 1 tsp fish sauce

1. Mix all the ingredients together, and pour over the pork mixture.

Steaming Directions

1. Get a large pot with an inch or two of water on the bottom.
2. Set to a light boil
3. Place a steamer rack in the pot, and make sure the water comes below the level of the steamer rack.
4. Gently place the pork and egg mixture on the steamer rack, and set an inverted plate over the custard bowl so that it is completely covered.
5. Put a lid on the pot.
6. Steam for 20-25 minutes, until the custard is just set.
7. I like to eat the custard at room temperature, or cold.  Slice some spring onions on the top, and add some extra coconut aminos, and a splash of toasted sesame oil.

This makes a great breakfast.

*I know a woman who carved “WHAM” into her arm and tried to ink it.  She couldn’t decide if she liked George or Andrew better.  She chose not be be identified, but I felt you needed to know about this hero.

I’m not a music expert.  I don’t follow obscure up-and-coming bands.  By the time I realise I like something, the lead singer has usually died from auto-erotic asphyxiation, or has had to move back in with her parents.  I like good stuff, and I also love some absolute crap.  But even I have always known that Prince is the cat’s pajamas.  There’s no two ways about it.

I was introduced to Prince in the summer of 1984.  Dig if you will the picture of an eight year old obsessed with the unnerving possibility of nuclear war and making her Barbies perform lewd sex acts on one another.  Prince could not have come into my life at a riper, more crucial time.

He emerged in the form of “Purple Rain.”  My mother, in a fit of uncharacteristic permissiveness, told my brother he could listen to the album, so long as he kept the volume down on the song about the girl masturbating.  This was a surprising move  coming from a woman who’s entire sex-ed repertoire comprised of telling her children it was possible to get pregnant through jeans.  Alas, Prince simply had that power over people.

It’s difficult to put into words how that album made me feel.  To this day, I cannot listen to “When Doves Cry,” “The Beautiful Ones,”  or “Purple Rain” without breaking down inside.  These songs awakened me to the concept of romantic love.  Prince’s music was a complete picture of what’s learned down the bumpy road of first loves,  true loves,  really true loves…and what happens when they go away.  Thirty years later, I can tell you he was spot on.

Goodbye Prince.  You were too freaky and cool for this world.

Raspberry Parfait

• 1 cup coconut milk
• 1 cup raspberries
• 1/2 tsp vanilla
• 1 small and ripe banana
• pinch of salt
• 2 TBS chia seeds
• the belief that everything will be okay in the end

1. Blend the raspberries, banaba, vanilla, salt, and coconut milk in a high speed blender until smooth.
2. Add in the chia seeds and pulse until incorporated.
3. Divide into a small servings and set in the fridge overnight.
4. Top with macadamia nut butter.  It is delicious.
5. I like getting lots of raspberry and chia seeds stuck in my teeth.

*this video is so bad, it becomes perfect.  I want to have a party and hire this band to play Prince covers all night long.