A Siberian weather front is blowing through London.  Just a little snow, but legitimately cold.  It’s 22 degrees outside.  Yesterday my kitchen was seventy degrees.  Today it is fifty-eight.  How to fix this?  I moved the heat number higher on the thing on the wall.  I’m wearing everything I own, in every size I’ve ever been.

There’s a book in my bathroom about the real-life stupid ways people have died hiking the mountains of New Hampshire.  Most get lost or injured.  But there are a few stories in there about men in denim jackets who wander off into the woods.  There’s no way to know what their motivations or last thoughts were, but it’s now fifty-seven degrees in my kitchen and I’m not alarmed.  My guess is that they thought, “I’m good. I have a tank top on under this.”

The idea of hapless men in Jordache used to make me laugh.  (Modern feminism.) But now it sort of makes sense.  Who doesn’t feel invincible in a sick denim jacket?  Just like, who would expect to freeze to death in her own kitchen?  As the temperature lowers, I know I’m not going to do anything about it other than eat bounty bars and wrap plastic bags around my torso.  Eventually, a forever sleep will claim me.  Perhaps we all have a ‘man from New Hampshire, in a jean jacket, walking into the woods’ in us.

I’m so cold.

Last Rites Hot Cocoa (1 serving)

• 200ml whole milk
• 1TBS cocoa powder
• 1-2tsp sugar
• pinch of salt
• dash of vanilla

1. Whisk all ingredients together over a low flame until combined and heated through.
2. I toss mine in a blender to make it a bit frothy.

Nutritional Information:

• calories: 189
• fat: 8.7
• carbs: 22.2
• protein: 8.9