My niece recently gave the synopsis of a movie she referred to as, “Animal Graveyard.”
“There’s this cat that dies, and the family buries it, and it comes back evil. Then their kid dies…”
“Wait,” I asked, “don’t you mean “Pet Cemetery?”
It was an error, but Elyse was on to something. Renaming “Pet Cemetery” to “Animal Graveyard” made it new again. Fresh. I wondered if it would work with other films. Not necessarily more late 80’s Stephen King adaptations though. “Emilio Estevez Rides By On His Bike And Sees A Woman Who Has Been Strangled By The Cord On Her Hairdryer” kind of takes the punch out of “Maximum Overdrive”.
My aim was to revitalise films starring Teri Garr. I like her, and felt she never got enough credit.
- “Dustin Hoffman Dresses Like A Woman To Steal A Role From Teri Garr To Finance Bill Murray’s Play, And He Also Has Romantic Feelings For Jessica Lange”
- “Michael Keaton Stays At Home So Teri Garr Can Work On A Tinned Tuna Marketing Project”
- “Teri Garr Has Sex With Gene Wilder Because He’s Stressed Out About A Necromancing Project Gone Awry”
These new titles, like the recipe below IMO, just work.
Mom’s Bacon Wrapped Water Chestnuts
- 1lb thin cut American bacon, cut in half
- 1 1/4 cup ketchup
- 1 1/4 cup brown sugar
- 1/2 cup horseradish
- 2 8oz cans of water chestnuts
- Preheat the oven to 350f/175c.
- Mix brown sugar and catsup together.
- Line a baking tray with foil.
- Wrap bacon half around the water chestnut, and brush with sauce.
- Secure with a toothpick.
- Bake for 50 minutes.
- Make a public post on my mom’s FB page how much you enjoyed her recipe. Please.
*Whenever my life feels out of control, I look at YouTube and see all the fan-made videos of 80’s movies set to music, and I feel better.
The Lunchadora 