My world careens between ordering everything I need to survive from Amazon, and paying strangers to massage my feet.  Sometimes I get invited out to dinner or to a party, and must practice smiling in the mirror for a couple days beforehand.  Because, well, you know…I need to see if I can look normal. We can’t all be Kelly Kapowski from “Saved by the Bell.”  Some of us have to be lonely janitors, or serial killers.

Anyway, I was feeling down, and at a loss of what to do with myself.  Then, like a a gift from Jehovah himself, two Jehovah’s Witnesses came to my door.  They didn’t even know me, yet invited me to a party.  It was all so relaxed.  There was no pressure, except for the solemn and private commitment I was forced to give.  Plus, they radiated exactly the right kind of sex vibe.  I’m not sure if Jesus will literally be there like they promised, but it all sounds good, clean, fab, and fun.

Victoria’s Beef Stroganoff (I don’t have a picture because I forgot and ate it all)

• 1-2 lbs beef cut into strips, or meatballs
• 1 tbs olive oil
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 garlic clove, chopped
• 1 beef stock cube
• 1 teaspoon soy sauce/tamari
• 3 teaspoons tomato paste
• 1 cup of mushrooms, sliced
• 1 cup of cream
• salt and pepper to taste

1. Heat oil in frying pan, and caramelise the onion and garlic.
2. Add beef or meatballs.  Cook until brown.
3. Add mushrooms while browning beef.  Cook for 12 minutes or so.
4. Stir into tomato paste, soy sauce, cream, and seasoning cube.
5. Simmer 5 minutes.
6. Serve over rice or cauliflower rice.