I’ve had a request to “bring back the smut.”  Now, I’d really love to deliver, but I’m cursed.  Like a  man who exposes himself at a public pool, I can only turn on the smut when it’s unwelcome.  Thanks for neutering me, Fanboy.

What I can offer you is a carrot cake muffin recipe.  Man, there’s nothing remotely verboten about that, is there?  You’re all going to have to wait until I’m feeling creepier and more sexually repulsive for the  sausage casserole and clam bake recipes.  I’m guessing…next week?

On a brighter note, I served these cupcakes to little kids, and they devoured them in a frenzy of effortless joy.  And everyone knows kids are mean little assholes.  So, it was a big win.

Carrot Cake Muffins

• 4 eggs at room temperature
• 1/2 cup honey
• 1/4 cup coconut oil, melted
• 1/2 tsp vanilla
• 1/2 cup sifted coconut flour
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 3/4 tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp ground nutmeg
• 1/4 tsp ground ginger
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1 1/4 cups grated carrots

1. Preheat oven to 175c/350f.  Line a muffin tin with silicon or paper liners.
2. Beat eggs, honey, coconut oil, and vanilla on medium for 30 seconds.
3. Add coconut flour, baking soda, spices, and salt. Beat until fully combined.
4. Fold in carrots.
5. Bake for 18-20 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the centre comes out clean.
6. Remove the cupcakes from the pan, and let them cool completely before frosting or serving.
7. You can frost them with whatever you like.  I enjoy a powdered sugar and lemon juice glaze.  Have it your way, baby!

*Hey, I realised I didn’t know the exact definition of smut.  Honestly?  I liken myself to more of a pornographer, but I think smut is pretty great too.