Today I’m forty.  I don’t feel any different.  I look about ten years older than I did on my thirtieth birthday, but that’s about it.  Yet everyone wants to know how I’m going to celebrate.  How I plan on marking this mid-life milestone.  Last year, I had a clear vision of my fortieth celebration.  I’d be dressed like Phyllis Diller and surrounded by family  We would gather at the Niagara Falls Casino and stuff Canadian currency into Alex from the Thunder Down Under’s speedo.  But, like most complicated fantasies, the planning got away from me.

And despite being a recluse whose only contact with the outside world is trolling elderly Trump supporters on FaceBook, I have lovely friends taking me out for dinner.  It’s more than I expected, and frankly more than I deserve.

I’ll take it.

Crab Benedict Bake

• 2 cups cubed back-breaking bread
• 200g fresh white crab meat
• 7 eggs
• 3/4 cup coconut milk
• 1/2 cup double cream
• 1/2 tsp paprika
• 3/4 tsp onion powder
• 1 1/4 tsp salt

1. Combine the bread and the crab at the bottom of a greased 9X13 inch pan.
2. Whisk together the eggs, coconut milk, cream, paprika, onion powder, and salt.  Pour mixture over the bread and crab, cover, and place in the fridge overnight.
3. Take the casserole out of the fridge a half an hour or so before you want to cook it.
4. Heat the oven to 375F/190C.
5. Bake uncovered for 30 minutes.
6. Drizzle with cheat’s hollandaise, below.
7. Remember, you’re fabulous and in your sexual prime.

Cheats Hollandaise

• 1/2 cup mayo
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• 1 tsp lemon juice
• 2 tsp dijon mustard
• 1/4 tsp paprika
• 1/2 tsp salt
• dash of hot sauce

Whisk all the ingredients together.