*If you read on, you’ll see I mean this in the kindest way possible.

I like coleslaw.  I think it is really nice.  I do have a strong case for why it should only be made at home though. I used to happily order it at restaurants, but then I met my sister-in-law.  She once worked at a diner where the chef was…there’s no classy way to say it… masturbating into a large vat of the stuff.  The place also had the distinction of buttering a cockroach into a customer’s raisin toast because she was “rude.”

Normally, I don’t allow restaurants that operate like “Saw” films to intimidate me.  I just don’t eat there.  But, I’ve been permanently damaged by my sister-in-law’s artful and descriptive storytelling.  So, if you are a lover of coleslaw, make it at home.  It’s easy, nutritious, chemical free, and definitely won’t contain semen.  Or, be like my buddy Shawn and only eat vinegar based slaws.

Coleslaw

• 300 grams homemade mayonaise
• 1.5 Tbs white wine vinegar
• 1/2 tsp sugar
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/2 white cabbage, cored and shredded thinly
• 3 carrots grated
• ground black pepper, to taste

1. Mix the mayonnaise, vinegar, sugar, and salt together.
2. Combine the cabbage and carrots and mix well.
3. Mix the sauce into the carrot and cabbage.
4. Enjoy.
5. I’m sorry if I’ve scarred you for life.