Garden works are underway at my home.  It is a messy business, but I can’t complain.  Two  young and handsome Australian men trek through my kitchen at least forty times a day.  It could be worse.

I’m Amishly new to any pornography outside of Judy Blume’s writing,  but the pervy possibilities of tradesmen in one’s home is a no-brainer.  Yet, rather than asking the tall, dark-haired one up to my bedroom to fix a perfectly intact closet shelf;  I realised all I wanted to do was make chicken liver pate on the hottest day of the year.

The blond, chatty one with the meaty legs, asked how I could stand be in front of the stove on such a warm day.   All I could say was, “I’m trying to incorporate more organ meats into my diet,”  It was the honest to goodness truth.

I can’t decide if my disinterest is wisdom and maturity, or culinary obsessiveness manifesting itself in sexual disfunction.  Either way, it is a win for any of you who like chicken liver pate.  This recipe is a delicious keeper.

Chicken Liver Pate

It is half-gone in this photo because I’m feral and eat spoonfuls of organ meat as a snack.

• 200 g/scant 1/2 lb chicken livers
• 1 shallot finely chopped
• 1 garlic clove finely chopped
• 1 bay leaf
• 1/4 tsp salt, and more to taste
• 1/2 cup water or broth
• 1/8 tsp allspice or nutmeg
• 6 TBS soft butter
• Pepper

1. Rinse and dry the chicken livers
2. Remove any connective tissue.  Gag.
3. In a frying pan, combine the chicken livers, shallot, garlic, bay leaf and salt. Add the water and bring to a simmer.
4. Cover and reduce the heat.  Allow to cook for 5-7 minutes.  Remove from heat and keep covered for 5 minutes.
5. Drain and remove the bay leaf.
6. Process the mixture in a food processor, and add the butter a tablespoon at a time, until completely smooth.
7. Taste and adjust the seasonings.
8. Spoon into a shallow bowl, or individual ramekins.
9. Smooth and cover.
10. Refrigerate for a few hours, and then enjoy.

I know this isn’t for everyone, but as a kid who grew up on liverwurst and mustard sandwiches…this is divine.  And, after the first time you make it, you can add seasonings as you like.  Next time I’ll simmer a little apple in for some sweetness.

*I hope this video can be seen, but if not, it’s Boyz II Men’s “I’ll Make Love To You.”  It makes me wish someone would hand-write Boyz II Men lyrics on parchment paper and leave them in a creepily voyeuristic and inaccessible part of my garden.