Christmas is the worst. Most of you will disagree with me because you’re nice and normal, and like mulled wine. But I also know a few will be nodding your heads in agreement, eager to pipe in, “Yeah! More people kill themselves around Christmas than other other time of year!” (Which is not true, but it feels so good to have you on my side.)
There’s a lot of build-up, anticipation, thought, effort, and money put into this hateful time of year . Maybe you’re lucky enough to have a family full of people who appreciate a homemade brick of confetti fudge as a present…maybe you’re an entitled brat who gets her sister so upset that she storms off sobbing into a snowstorm to spend Christ’s birthday in a mid-range hotel. There are no winners in this game.
I’m totally bringing myself down with this, but the entire season is like when that housewife from “Love Actually” opens the gift she thinks is going to be a ruby necklace, but it turns out to be a Joni Mitchell CD, and she realises her husband (Professor Snape) is banging his secretary who is very beautiful, but also looks like an alien fish creature.
Christmas is BALLS BALLS BALLS.
But, this recipe makes it better. Because it makes the best kind of balls.
Have a tolerable Christmas.
Sunbutter Ballseyes
These are very nice, but they won’t take away the sting of being unlovable and unloved.
- 200g chocolate of your choice. I like a mix of dark and milk.
- A few tablespoons coconut oil.
- 250g Softened butter.
- 600g Powdered sugar.
- 500g Sunbutter.
- Cream butter and sunbutter.
- Gradually add powered sugar by hand until well mixed.
- Chill for a few hours, or overnight and roll into 1 inch balls.
- Melt chocolate in a double boiler and add some coconut oil to thin it out a bit.
- Dip the balls half way into the chocolate with a toothpick or chopstick.
- Set on wax paper and allow to harden in the refrigerator.
- Store between layers of wax paper and keep in the refrigerator.
- Shove a couple balls in your mouth when you taste the sourness of disappointment rising.
The Lunchadora 