I want to lose these last seven pounds.  Will it make the world a better place?   Probably not, but it greatly increases my options for slutty Halloween costumes next year, and that’s what really matters.

I don’t feel like I’m getting older, but there are wrinkles…weight is harder to lose, and every single time I get my period I praise a Hindu god that I’m at least a year out from the menopause.  I am doing this now because I know that in a few years I’ll be focusing my energies elsewhere.  Like, building a feline army, knitting adjustable waist leggings and frightening small children with the putrefying decay my dentist has foretold.

Sometimes when I share my fitness/lifestyle goals, people take offence.  It seems like there are all these rules.  It’s not okay to be overweight.  Don’t be skinny.  If you work out too much, you’re conceited.  If you don’t work out, you’re lazy.  It’s vain to dress up like Red Sonja and take selfies.(Who knew?)  You’re a pig if you eat an entire Danish puff in one sitting, but lack grit (in my opinion) if you don’t.  There is absolutely no way to win.

Since I can’t win, I’ve decided to do what I want.  Yes, of course my primary concern is to be healthy and strong, but I want to take it a step further.  Naked pictures.  Naked pictures so good, that thirty years from now I will pull them out to show the EMT.

A Sassafrassi Mango Lassi 

• 160 grams cubed mango
• 1 cup coconut water
• 100g whole fat greek yogurt
• pinch of salt
• pinch of cardamon power

Blend it up and drink it down.

This makes a satisfying breakfast on the go.

It has 5 Weight Watchers points.

*A picture of my pussy…too far?

*A note on how I plan on making one Olan Mills photographer very uncomfortable…  I will lift weights twice a week, run three days, and I have joined Weight Watchers.  I follow a mostly paleo, gluten free diet, except for when I don’t.  Also, I will airbrush some abs on and photoshop a unicorn into the background.