I want to get fit again. Specifically, I want to stop washing down bag after bag of pork rinds with prosecco. Look at me. I’m smart, beautiful and sexually alluring. It’s time I started treating myself like a treasure.

Generally, I do try to exercise and eat well, but there are always triggers. I’m ashamed to say it could be something as simple as Ocado being out of stock of organic spinach, or suddenly losing perspective and and feeling like my life is a Chris Isaak song. A couple of weeks in Buffalo didn’t help, not because it was depressing in any way, but because there are dozens of varieties of donuts. I was averaging a respectable 2.5 of them a day on top of wings, pizza, danish puff, pancakes and boilermakers…and it all kind of deteriorated from there. I was living the rockstar lifestyle of a person who eats hotdogs for a living, but without the fame or groupies. While it sounds idyllic, I physically felt like a person who eats hotdogs for a living.

I tried to get back into the healthy groove, but kept encountering setbacks. I put some thought into what was happening and realised that my biggest mistake, (outside the time I stalked that guy in 97′) was throwing in the towel the second I had a setback. I had the mentality that everything had to be perfect, otherwise the whole plan was ruined.

To counteract that unhealthy mindfuckery, I have decided to incorporate regular treats into my plan. The goal is not to lose weight, or get a butt that won’t quit, (although that would be awesome) but rather, to achieve a balance. More days feeling refreshed, energised and vibrant, and fewer days waking up under the pool table at Frizzy’s with a barbecue chicken finger stuffed in my bra.

Anyway, I want to start October off right. These brownies are the equivalent of walking into a room where a fan tousles your hair back, and the radio blasts the Cult’s “She Sells Sanctuary.”  Enjoy.

Nutella Brownies

• 1 cup/300 grams hazelnut butter (or any other nut butter)
• 1/3cup /105grams maple syrup
• 1 egg
• 2 TBS/40 grams ghee (melted, but cool)
• 1 tsp vanilla
• big pinch salt
• 1/3 cup/35 grams cocoa powder
• 1/2 tsp baking soda

Preheat the oven to 325F/160C. Combine all except the cocoa powder and the baking soda, and mix well. Sift in the cocoa powder and baking soda. Spread into a greased 8 inch circular cake tin. Bake for 8-12 minutes. They are better gooey then over-baked, as they get crumbly if cooked all the way through.

More this…

Less this…